Episode 8: Discovering Your Purpose Through Human Design, with Aviva Joffe
In this episode of The Unedited Woman, Ash Butterss welcomes Human Design expert Aviva Joffe to explore the transformative power of human design. They discuss the origins of human design, Aviva's personal journey into this field, and the significance of understanding one's energy type. The conversation delves deeper as Aviva reads Ash’s Human Design chart live on the podcast, highlighting the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and trusting one's intuition. Aviva shares insights on how to navigate decisions using the sacral response and the impact of emotional awareness on personal growth. Finally, Ash gets emotional as she discovers her life’s mission for helping other women is in perfect alignment with her chart.
The episode highlights are:
00:00 Introduction to Human Design
03:11 Understanding Human Design and Its Origins
05:48 Aviva's Journey to Human Design
08:54 Energy Types in Human Design
12:08 The Role of Generators and Projectors
14:50 Self-Care and Boundaries
17:59 The Importance of Following Your Sacral Response
21:08 Navigating Decisions and Trusting Your Gut
23:54 Emotional Awareness and Empathy
27:09 The Significance of Defined Energy Centers
29:59 Self-Love and Life Purpose
32:49 Conclusion and Resources
To access your free guided meditations, head to the Freebie Page on Ash’s website
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Transcript
Ash Butterss (00:00.812)
Welcome to the Unedited Woman, where you'll hear candid conversations to improve your everyday life.
Ash Butterss (00:12.494)
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. My name is Ash Butters. I'm the makeover mentor here guiding you through a physical, emotional and spiritual makeover. I am so excited for today's episode. I have the incredible Aviva Joffe here in the studio with me today. Now Aviva is a human design expert. If you don't know what that means, you're about to find out. So I would love to welcome to the show Aviva. Hi, welcome to the studio hun.
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I am so looking forward to today. So we've only recently come into each other's lives through some mutual friends, which has been really beautiful. And I remember the first time we met, you explained to me that you are a human design expert. And straight away that piqued my interest because I've definitely heard of human design. And the more I've kind of stepped into enhancing my spiritual life and moving in slightly different circles, it's becoming more talked about. And in fact, I actually
dated someone a few years ago who was like, you know your human design? I was like, yeah, I'll get back to you on that one. a years ago would be like early days in terms of Australia's awareness of human design. 100%. Still early days. Totally. And so that's pretty much the only time I've heard of it until we met.
And I thought what a cool opportunity to get you onto the show to help anybody else who is listening or watching along today who also might be a little bit curious about human design. So I would love to get a better understanding of what it is. And then you're going to read my chart. Is that right? Yes. my goodness. Okay. Cool. I don't know if that's like being super vulnerable and letting everybody like look inside my underwear drawer, but that's cool. Like we're here for it. I am such an open book as you guys all know. So
I'm ready for whatever comes up today. Amazing. Okay, so let's kick it off with a very obvious question, but one that I don't know the answer to. What is human design? Yes, it's a great way to start. So human design is a system that I use to basically based on your time and place of birth, everyone has a human design chart and it shows you
Ash Butterss (02:19.906)
So many different things, but my favorite part that teaches you is how to connect with your life purpose, how to use your intuition for making decisions, how to use your energy levels correctly, your personality type, so that you understand how you go about living your purpose. And then there are all that you have nine energy centers as well that all show you different types of energy. So like there's like emotional energy, then there's like life force, physical energy, then there's pressure to the energy that.
feels like pressure to get momentum. So there are so many different layers to it. But what I really love is helping clients understand, really connect with their passion and their purpose and start using their intuition and trusting themselves more by using their design. Human design, it's, I guess, considered a newer modality. It's been around since the early 70s, but emerges four different ancient wisdoms. So it's a mix of Western astrology, the Hindu chakra system, the Kabbalah tree of life, and then the Chinese eating. Yeah.
So it's a mix of all of those, it's also completely different to all of them. Right, okay. How on earth did you come across human design? What inspired you to take this on as your vocation? Yeah, so, well, it's kind of random. It seems random. I've always been into spiritual things like astrology and, you know, like understanding energy and very self -reflective. But when I first heard of it, was living in New York working as a fashion designer. That's my previous career.
which is so different. both have the word design in them. Yeah, that's true. Not the same. But one of my colleagues at work, she was also an astrologer, she mentioned human design to me. And the first time I saw my chart, I was like, I was actually not interested. was like, this looks like gibberish. I was kind of into astrology, didn't get it. And then it was about six, seven months later that I was in Melbourne visiting, just like visiting from New York and I was here for a wedding.
and then COVID hit. And that's when I ended up, I decided to stay in Melbourne eventually. Like I lost my job in New York and I actually, the first realization I had that I wanted to do something different was that I wasn't disappointed when I lost the job. I was actually relieved. And so I was like, that's interesting. Like I don't understand this feeling. And then basically I was living with my mom. So I wanted to like, you know, have an income, move out.
Ash Butterss (04:30.626)
get back to my independence like I had in New York. So I was looking for fashion jobs, but while I was preparing my folio for those jobs, I was listening to podcasts and I was listening to one that said, ask yourself, what is the thing that comes the most naturally to you? Like that really easy, breezy gift that you have. And the thing that I thought of was...
connecting with people on a deep level, one -on -one, like building this sort of intimacy and connection very naturally and also offering my guidance. And in the podcast, I said, whatever you thought of is what you should be doing in your career, not the thing that you think you should be doing or maybe what you're doing now. my goodness. Okay, let's pause for a second. What was the question again? So if you just stop for a moment and without thinking too hard, what is the first thing that pops into your head when you consider the question, what is my most natural, easy gift?
What comes the easiest to you? Yeah, what a powerful question to ask yourself. Because it really, if you don't think too hard, like for me, it wasn't immediately wasn't fashion design or even like sketching or being creative in that way. It was it was all about, yeah, just guiding people and connecting with people. Right. OK, so you you figure that out within yourself that it's more about your natural innate gift is around connection and service, not fashion design. What do you do then?
Cause I imagine your whole life has been pointing you in the direction of becoming a fashion designer. Like you were living in New York. Yeah. Yeah. And I, but I think I was kind of relieved because I knew I was aware of that relief I felt from losing the job in the first place. And then I was like, that's, this is why, and this is what I want to be doing. And I sort of just had this trust that I thought to myself, I know that I need to pair this natural gift with some sort of like a system or a some sort of
know, vehicle to express it through. And I wasn't sure what that would be. And I knew, I was like, it's not psychology. Like, I don't want to go back to union do psychology for, you know, five years or whatever. And that didn't feel right. And then I was like, you know what, it's just going to come to me. And that's when a friend mentions human design to me again. And I was like, I've heard of this before. And this time I looked at my chart and I was like, wow, this actually makes sense to me. And I like even visually, it made sense to me then looking at like reading about myself. made sense.
Ash Butterss (06:45.441)
Like that I wasn't like, what was the thing that you read about your chart that you went, my God, that's me. a huge part was that my energy type is a projector. So your energy type is there are five different types. And it tells you how your designs exchange your energy with the world around you. So how your energy levels work, your ways of doing resting and how to use your energy to reap the greatest rewards. And so as a projector, it says literally you're here to be a guide.
to help people see something that you can see clearly that other people can't see on their own and that you have inconsistent energy levels as a projector. Sorry, I do, not you. Yeah, no, I'm following, yeah. And I've always felt like there was something wrong with my energy, why am I so more tired than the average person or why do I feel like I can't hustle the way others do and that's actually how projectors operate.
So even that was like, that's why it doesn't say my iron's low every time I get a blood test and I think there's something wrong with me. It's actually because I'm not using my energy correctly. And have you noticed a shift since, I mean, how does one change their energy to suit their, maybe we're going to go into this, but straight away I'm thinking like, what were the things that you did knowing that you're a projector that allow you to adapt the way you use your energy today to, guess, what's the word I'm looking for?
look after those reserves more efficiently. Yeah. Well, each energy type has a different connection to their energy levels and different strategies for every type has its own specific strategy, but also other tools to use to use your energy correctly. So for me, for example, it's knowing that I'm actually only meant to work about two or three hours a day on the things.
that feel like output and that feel like hard work. So a lot of projectors here, like if you read traditional human design, also projectors are only meant to work three hours a day. And you're like, God, how am I gonna live my life? And so a lot of projectors, especially on my TikTok, I get a lot of people commenting being like, I hate being a projector. I wish I was a generator, a manifesting generator, like you're a generator.
Ash Butterss (08:54.081)
I don't know what that means, but I'm like, cool. But so, I mean, the point of human design is that you're your particular energy type because you there's a specific strategy and way of managing your energy and that that's actually how you thrive and create the opportunities you want and like manifest the things you want rather than trying to be like another energy type or another person. So as a projector, trying to set a timer on the things that that feel like the output and that feel more exhausting. let's say in an office job, that could be that could be like
the replying to emails and being in meetings is exhausting, but maybe like behind the scenes stuff like the researching or putting together something more creative that you get to do, those are the things that you could spend all day on. So totally that makes so much sense. Yeah. And then, and then also projectors like for myself, projectors create opportunities, not by hustling and pushing really hard, but by creating invitations by through self recognition and then sharing their gifts with people. So, and that's a very broad.
explanation of it, but you can say there's like there are practical steps. I love this. Yeah, I love this. Okay, let's dive in. What is a generator? So you're a generator. So, What is it? Okay. So that's your as I said, that's your energy types. That's how you're designed to exchange your energy with people, how your energy levels work, how your energy rates the most rewards through your output of energy. So you firstly, when we're looking at your energy, we're talking about your aura. And so
As a generator, you've got an open and enveloping aura, which means that you feel really open and warm and cosy to people. Like when you enter a room, you just feel really warm and comfy and people feel very included by you. And so that's a really beautiful gift, especially with the work that you do. The thing to really keep in mind though is that generators, and maybe you can relate to this, they tend to need to ask themselves this question of, I think that self -sacrificing makes me more worthy? Because you can feel really...
so inclusive to people that they can feel very comfortable to ask you to do things for them or demand your energy in different ways. And so that's a really big theme and a lot of generators are like, when I was younger, I struggled with that, now I'm much better or some still struggle. Yeah. my goodness. I think that I have been learning how to be more... What's the word I'm looking for here? It's a really interesting conversation because part of...
Ash Butterss (11:15.083)
the work that I do now, not just in my vocation, but in my life, in recovery and sobriety is about giving back and being of service. And I know that that really does allow me to reap the rewards. Like I absolutely see that and it's a big part of my life. But I also have had to learn not to take on too much. And so...
sort of around the first two years of my sobriety, I remember I was like sponsoring heaps of women and doing all the things and going to all the meetings and trying to build a business and trying to show up as a partner and da da da da. And I did get to a point of feeling really, really exhausted. I think that in the last couple of years, I've started to get better at that. And I've had that mirrored to me by women who I really respect. And so I've almost learnt by watching the way
they move through the world because it certainly wasn't natural or innate to me. That's interesting. And when you say natural and or innate in human design, we would say that you're that you have a tendency obviously towards over giving, but that that comes rather than coming from your innate self, it comes from your conditioning. So like the world that we've grown up in. So conditioning from your family, the like the society we live in, your friends that
maybe teach you that, you should keep giving because that makes you a good person or sacrificing yourself does make you a better person. So ignoring, like abandoning yourself in that way. Whereas if we lived in this perfectly aligned world that your natural self would know, you would innately know like, this is what my energy levels are. I'm connected to that. I know people respect my energy. And then maybe you wouldn't be over giving or people wouldn't demand that in that way from you.
Totally, and I think it goes even deeper for me. So my core wound is unworthiness. And I know that having felt that from a very young age, one of the ways that I would try to be okay with who I was in the world was to seek external validation. And so something that crosses or is very closely aligned to that, I believe is people pleasing.
Ash Butterss (13:28.029)
And it wasn't until I got sober that I actually started to realize just how inherently dishonest people pleasing is because when I show up and I say yes to you when I don't want to, but I then resent you because I've had to do something that I didn't want to do, like that's not fair to you. You know, like I'm not being honest with you. And then you're confused. There's this,
messy energy between us and you don't know where I stand and I have just found that since I've let go of the people pleasing tendencies and I've been a lot more honest with how I show up in the world, people have found me to be more trustworthy and more consistent. Like they know what they're going to get and they know that they're going to get the truth because I no longer just tell people what they want to hear because I'm so desperate for their approval. yeah, that's also like what that's such a good point because
amongst human design readers and experts, that's what we all talk about that when you are on a collective level, if we can all be honor ourselves and be true to ourselves, that actually it benefits everyone even more. Even if other some people may be in their, you know, in their shadow or if they're not in a good headspace or if they're too self -absorbed, who knows, they might not see that clearly that that's your it's actually benefiting them. But it really is because you're not taking them on this journey that maybe you like, you can only take them halfway.
through supporting them in something because you don't have the full capacity to fully give everything to it. And so you're actually helping out the people, like you said, by just by doing what's right for yourself. Yeah, this is like, again, I get so passionate about this conversation because even with my clients, when I talk to them about doing their best to prioritize self care and as women and I find a lot with mothers in particular, they find that their head tells them that it's selfish.
to put themselves first and yet it can feel like you're letting someone down in the moment by choosing yourself, but the version of you that then gets to show up and step back into that relationship after you've actually looked after yourself is a better version. It's a more loving, more tolerant, more patient version. And whether that's with your intimate partner or your children or your colleagues or your boss, like I think everybody benefits when...
Ash Butterss (15:45.517)
we can show up as the best version of ourselves. And so it does take that what can feel like a difficult, uncomfortable decision to make, but it benefits everyone in the long run. Yeah, 100%. That's so, so well said. And it's so important for generators because you're what's called a sacral energy being. So, love that. So sacral energy being when we're looking at your chart, which is over here. So you can have a little look at it. I forgot to give it to you.
Amazing. Okay, this makes no sense to me. That's why when I first looked at it and I ran for the hills, that's, you know why. So this is what you were looking at. Okay, so I don't know. I'll hold it up. I don't know if you guys watching along on YouTube can see this, but that's the chart. Right. Okay. Basically as a sacral energy being, you have what's called your sacral energy sensor defined. So that it's one of the colored in energy sensors in your chart. That means that you use this consistently.
So the sacral is where life force energy comes from, the energy to do, create, make things. It's also where desires come from. So what it means is when you are lit up by something and you're excited and you want it, that's when your energy wells up within you and it fills within you like a cup going all the way to the top with water. And then it overflows out of you into everyone else around you and then you actually lift them up as well so you can actually share that energy. essentially when you're lit up,
then you're actually able to do your real job, which is to lift everyone else up around you, take them out of the heavy and the hard and dullness of life, bring joy and also give them energy to also, you know, to vibe off your energy. But they can only, you can only give that when you're lit up. So that's why when you're excited, that's when you're actually able to help people the most. sometimes you will want to, it's not saying that you always have to have boundaries.
the sense of you're never gonna wanna help people and only thinking about yourself. There'll be times when you, like with clients, where you want to help them, you genuinely feel excited to help them. And that's when you have the energy to versus, let's say a family member is being really demanding and it triggers you and you feel really, you don't feel lit up at all and you feel contracted. That's when you don't have energy for it. Can I tell you a story? This is so true and so topical. I recently ran a two day transformation event called The Radiant Woman.
Ash Butterss (17:59.757)
And they were long days. It was nine till 6 .30 Saturday and Sunday. And I honestly was so energized throughout the entire process. There was not one single moment of the day that I had a dip in my energy or that I was checking the time and thinking, my God, when is this going to be over? It literally felt like it went in the blink of an eye. And then I didn't crash until Monday.
And I woke up Monday morning and I felt like I'd been hit by a semi trailer. And I was like, feel like my eyes were hanging out of my head. My fiance and I went to the movies and I was like, drooling on his shoulder. But it was, in the moment giving to my clients and being in that environment, my God, was I lit up. Yeah. And you, whereas like if you were forced to be there, you wouldn't have had that consistent energy, those...
whole two days. So it's the fact that it was something that I was excited about. Yeah. That gave me the energy to be able to deliver it. Yeah. Okay. That's being a sacral being is all about, which is what you are as a generator, but also manifesting generators. So this applies to them as well. So your desires are your internal compass. They lead you in the right direction, show you what you have the energy for, what your boundaries are. So it's really important to connect to those and the way that you really honor your energy.
is by following what's called your strategy. So I mentioned before that each type has its own strategy. And so it's a strategy for finding flow and attracting aligned opportunities. So it makes you feel aligned and then attract the things that you want into your life. so as a, you're like, I'm on the edge of my seat. Literally guys, if you're not watching this, I'm on the edge of my seat. Tell me what, tell me what. I can see it. So as a generator,
The universe is constantly sending you a stream of opportunities to say either yes or no to. And so it's all about connecting to what we call your sacral response. So that also called a gut feeling. So it can feel like a gut feeling, but the sacral response is when it's a yes, it's like this visceral expansive feeling within yourself of like, yes, I want this. I'm excited. I'm lit up by it. You just really your leading question is do I want this?
Ash Butterss (20:18.313)
And that tells you it can also feel like a feeling in the sacral area, which is like that core lower belly area. So some people would call that a gut feeling and versus a no can feel heavy, contracted, lacking energy towards that opportunity or decision. it's really for the way that I like to think of it is that as a generator, the universe is like your personal shopper.
So I always tell people this in a reading. if you went to a personal shopper, your job is to just tell them I'm looking for a dress and then you wait in the fitting room and they're meant to bring you things to say yes or no to. So let's say you're waiting and then they bring you five dresses and you immediately get this feeling of like, don't like them. I don't want to try those. I just have this no feeling. But then you get into your head and you think, but they're the experts. So what do I know? Or,
you know, I'm going to hurt their feelings if I don't just try a few of them. So I'll just tell them I like them and those sorts of thoughts that coming from your mind rather than listening to what your body's telling you, which is what human science is all about, the body's wisdom. So that's when if you say yes to them, I'll try all these things on. That's when they get mixed signals and they're going to bring you more of these dresses that you don't like the style of. So thinking of the universe in that way of not being hard on yourself about it and thinking like, no, if I say yes to one thing that, you know, I'm, I'm ruined. Like I'm going to keep receiving all these terrible things, but
It's the more that you can say yes to things that light you up and setting boundaries on the things that you don't want. That's how you really attract more yes opportunities and avoid things like, you getting burnt out or feeling fatigue. Even feeling what we call your not self theme, which is the feeling that comes up when you're out of alignment. And that's the feeling of frustration for generators. So feeling like, I'm so frustrated. I feel stuck. You know, I'm self -sacrificing. I'm people pleasing.
I'm abandoning myself, all those sorts of thoughts. Or like I don't have energy. You can feel like you don't have energy as a generator and then you hear, but you're supposed to have lots of energy. So that can be really confusing, but it's really about asking yourself, where am I saying yes to the things that actually feel like a no? The things that feel heavy and contracted and like, I don't want that. Totally. So if that's happening, then that is an indication that I should be saying no. If I'm feeling that heaviness, if I'm feeling...
Ash Butterss (22:32.661)
really tired by something, then that's generally not in alignment with what the universe would, or the deepest desires that I should be living. I guess it's not in alignment with your soul, like what your soul's blueprint is telling you is your path to success and satisfaction and happiness and all those things that you want. Yeah, wow. But it's also about...
asking yourself, sort of having this mantra of what's right in front of me? How does my body feel about it? And can I listen? And I think the can I listen part is really important because otherwise you can use this information to be really hard on yourself and like, I didn't set a boundary. no, like am I just gonna, is the universe gonna give me all these things I don't want? But the more you can just, when you ask yourself, can I listen? And you're like, okay, today I have one more task to get done. And on one day maybe like, okay, no, I know I can actually lead that to.
I really don't feel like it right now, so I'm just gonna put that to the side. But if it's a situation where you really have to do it, there's no one else that can help you with it, you have to get it done. Maybe it's a deadline or something really urgent, then maybe it's for all the parents out there, like something with you have to pick your child up and no one else can help you and you've exhausted all options. Then not being hard on yourself because knowing that just the awareness and just having that conversation with yourself of do I want this? Okay, no, but I have to right now, that's still.
makes you more magnetic because you're not doing it on just on autopilot and without questioning it. So just the awareness increases your magnetism. That's so interesting. does that like I've always wondered whether this is just an age thing or whether it's to do with my human design. But I've found that, you know, over the last few years as well, like my favorite thing to do of an evening is stay at home. And I still
prioritize, you know, catching up with my girlfriends at least once a month for dinner and seeing family and seeing people who are really important to me. But having to leave the house after 6 p for anything, even a yoga class is like, like I just, you just don't want to. I don't want to, I don't have the energy.
Ash Butterss (24:45.839)
Get me to do something first thing in the morning, like love going for walks with friends in the morning, love getting to a yoga class. teach all my classes that I teach, I teach in the morning. Is that to do with my human design or is that just, I don't know, the fact that I'm more of a morning person? And is that okay or should I be trying to push myself? Like for instance, another example I'll be really honest is a lot of the AA meetings that I go to are in the evening and to get myself up and out of the house.
after a full day of work, I just find so exhausting. I still go because I know that it's important, but it's not like if I would have really tuned into my intuition and my gut, like I don't have a, it's not something that I'm like, yes, I get to go to that. I'm just like, like I'm doing, it's more like a maintenance thing. Yeah. So really that is your sacral response telling you like, don't want, this is not, I don't desire this right now. It doesn't make me feel lit up. So that,
And then I would have to have a look at something else in your chart to see, because there are other parts of your chart that can indicate whether, not whether you're a morning or an evening person, but whether you have like a specific sort of way of timing or if you're more consistent with things or inconsistent. So we'd have to like go deeper into your chart to look at that. But really the reason why I always, energy type is the most important part is because you naturally, if you honor your energy type, then you'll embody all your other gifts anyway. So there's like maybe a very specific gift in your chart that
tells you you have a very particular way of timing throughout your day, for example, like rituals that you have for yourself. But none of that even matters if you just use your, if you follow your strategy of responding. So your strategy is called responding and it's all about responding to the opportunities that universe sends you. And so I imagine meditation is going to be really important for a generator because you need to have the copy out.
the capacity to be able to pause to feel into the response. Well, it's a very immediate feeling. Right. It can evolve over time. basically also in your chart, you have this for your everyday decisions because it's your strategy, but it's also what's called your authority, which is your specific type of intuition for making big decisions. So not all generators have both, but you do have this for both, which means that whether it's a big decision or a small one, you will have that.
Ash Butterss (27:09.925)
usually you'll have that immediate feeling in the moment. And so yes, you do have to be present because a yes is like this visceral expansive feeling of I want this. Whereas a no is that heavy contracted pit in your stomach sensation and feeling like lacking energy towards it I don't want this. But sometimes it can be also a no for now, which can feel just like neutral and blah. Like you just don't, you don't feel like you're excited or definitely.
not wanting that thing and so that's when sometimes you just need more time. So you do have to be present to really feel into that like whether it's a yes or a no or it's still a maybe but I would say if you're a generator and you don't feel lit up by meditation let's say you've already tried it like you've pushed past the potential resistance that we can all have to meditation but then you know that it just doesn't light you up but maybe breath work is your thing or maybe it's like you know
hold showers or just going for a walk or dancing, whatever it is, it's definitely good to get into your body, but I wouldn't say you have to meditate. It's just what works for you because everyone's different. Yeah, right. It's so interesting when you talk about, now that I've heard you say it back to me, I am somebody who makes decisions very quickly, but something that, I don't know whether this is unique to my experience or whether this is a common thread for generators is that
Because I spent a number of years in active addiction and living out of alignment with my values, I still sometimes don't trust my first thought. And so I can, know, like I've made some really big decisions in the last few years around, you know, starting my business, starting a podcast, stopping a podcast, starting another one, working with a coach, not working with a coach, like all this stuff. Big decisions, lots of money.
And I have found that it is always the answer comes straight away, but then sometimes I have this thing in my head that goes, but is that right? And then it might take me, you know, a little bit of time just to sit with it, to be able to like, my body knows, right? My body does really know now that I think about it. And as you describe it, but it's the head that can kind of create a little bit of confusion. Yeah. And I think for you that could be, you know, having that
Ash Butterss (29:31.819)
addiction in the past, that can be your reason for not fully trusting yourself or second guessing your first instinct. But I think everyone still has the voice in their head that comes up and there could just be different reasons, like maybe their parents taught them to think that way or they were, they're just like taught to be very rational and always weigh out the pros and cons. it's really, human design really is about trusting the body. according to human design, it's...
the body is the driver of the car and your mind is the passenger. it's still, your mind is supportive and powerful and amazing at analyzing so many different things. But we say that your body actually knows what's right for you in these sorts of immediate moments and that's actually driving you forward. So it is really, especially with, there are all different types of authority. So like I mentioned, you have sacral authority that's on top of having
your strategy of responding with your sacral response. They're essentially the same, they do the same thing. Just one of them is for your everyday finding flow and attracting opportunities. But for you it's also when you're making a big life decision that you also have that same, you can trust in that sacral response of that immediate gut feeling. So you are someone that knows immediately and it's really an act of bravery to trust that because it's scary. Like when you feel something and it's irrational, maybe it's...
maybe it's like maybe not the opportunity that will make you the most money, but for some reason it feels better and the one that will make you more money, something's not sitting right. And if you went around asking everyone their opinions, they would be like, well, obviously you go with the one that's, I don't know, like a bigger, more, you know, larger sum of money sort of opportunity, but you know, in your gut for some reason that you can't rationalize that it doesn't feel right. It's really about trusting that and that takes practice. So something you can do is,
If you're not always ready to trust yourself and for anyone listening, can write down, it depends on what your authority is, of course, but if you have sacral authority like Ash, you can write it down immediately. And then if you don't follow it, just come back to it one day, you can look in your journal and say, what would have happened if I had listened to that in that moment? And if you don't, and something else that's really good to do if you're kind of, kind of like you said, like a meditation sort of grounding practice can be to just close your eyes.
Ash Butterss (31:51.401)
and just you can put your hands on your head where all the thinking is close your eyes and visualize all the energy releasing into your hands. And then bring the hands down into your sacral area, the lower belly and just feel the energy going back into like visualize yourself putting that energy back into the sacral. So just ground yourself. So that can be something good to do in the moment when you feel that. And if you still feel unclear, it's always good to just give yourself a bit more time or ask yourself with closed ended questions.
So the sacral responds to particular options, not just open -ended questions. So for example, if you didn't know what you wanted for dinner and then your partner said, what do you feel like for takeaway? You're like, I don't know. Like my sacral's not responding to anything, but if, and obviously this is a very trivial decision. I love it though. But it's really, it's practical. happens all the time. But if you to do you feel like Italian or do you feel like Japanese? And then your sacral can be like, yes, Japanese, no Italian.
So it needs something to respond to. So close -ended questions are really helpful as well. This is so true. Like literally, that's exactly how it plays out for me. So funny. Yes. my goodness. So just giving yourself more time or asking yourself with those close -ended questions can help as well. As you were talking about making those decisions, which seemingly or logically don't make sense, but you know, in your gut, it just took me straight back to when I made the decision to leave L 'Oreal to pursue...
my podcast and yoga teaching, which like on paper seemed just insane, right? But I just knew, like, and I can't describe what it was. I just knew that I had no other decision but to follow that path. Yeah. And so that's the trust. you did it when you look back on that was a feeling of I'm not lit up by L 'Oreal anymore. And I feel lit up by this other opportunity, even though I don't know where it's going. Exactly right. Exactly right. was, it was that I didn't feel lit up anymore. And I,
had been so grateful to the industry and the organization and everything up until that point, I know it all led me to where I needed to be. But I also knew with every fiber of my being that my time was done in that industry. And now I've kind of come full circle and now I'm bringing that physical transformation back into people's lives, but it's in a completely different context.
Ash Butterss (34:08.127)
Yeah, but you can see that everything's a stepping stone. Like even if you can't understand why your sacral response, why your authority is telling you this is what I want right now, when you trust that you see how one thing just leads to another, even with the small things, it's like, again, about being present in your body and saying, what's right in front of me? How does my body feel about it? And can I listen to that? And that could look like changing the smallest thing in your day could have the biggest impact. It could be instead of making your coffee at home that you decide one day,
For some reason, I can't stop thinking about getting this really expensive chai that's out of my way, anywhere I'm going. And if you just follow that, instead of getting it in your head and being like, I shouldn't do that today, it doesn't make any sense, just going and doing it and seeing maybe you bump into someone that you haven't seen for years. then maybe you bump into someone from L 'Oreal that's also on the same path as you and you collaborate and you do this amazing makeover, physical and energetic makeover workshop together.
And that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't just listened to your sacral response, which said, I want to try, even though that seems so trivial. So it's just really about connecting to your body in that way and your senses and what lights you up, even the big or the small things and just seeing where it leads. And then when you don't feel lit up by something anymore, like moving on from it as well. I love that. I feel like it's so interesting because I feel like I have been living my life like this without even knowing.
And this is just giving me so much more permission to lean into that felt sense, which is something that I have really just become attuned to over the last like four and a half years. Before that, I was like so not connected to my gut or my intuition. I was just like crashing and bashing through life and ticking all the boxes, but not actually being present to the experience. So many people say that in readings they're like,
This is how I've always felt naturally inclined to operate. now I just have permission to do that. And now it just makes sense why. I'm not just crazy or just doing things my own weird way for no reason. It's like, this is actually my unique design. And that's what human design is all about. It's that when you do things in your most natural, effortless way, not that things are without effort, but the way that things feel.
Ash Butterss (36:30.163)
authentic and aligned for you. When you live that way, that's actually how you thrive rather than doing things in the way that you thought you should have. yeah, and that can be hard when if you're let's say brought up to always rationalize every decision you make, then you have to decondition, which is the goal of human design to decondition from all the limiting beliefs and yeah, come back to who you are and doing things in a way that feels authentic. Yeah, right. So what does the split definition mean that you've told me about?
Is that split definition? Yeah. that is a, technically it's the way that your energy sensors are connected to each other. You have them connected in two different sort of sections. So it's like split. what it means in the non -technical sense is that you work really well collaboratively with people. Right. And that you're someone who will naturally feel
Like if you don't have connections in your life, you will probably feel like something's missing. And it's not that there's anything missing from you, but connections are just really important to you. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and it can also mean when you have a split that sometimes things can take longer for you to process. even though you are designed to be very quick at making decisions, if someone like, let's say drops a bomb of information on you,
you might not know immediately how you feel about it. might take you a bit of time to process it. Whereas... a chew in my head just went into a fever. was like, does that mean why maybe I have found it hard to process like certain relationships ending if it's come as a shock? Yeah. Okay. I would say so because I also have this and I've come to notice. Yeah. I've come to sort of, I used to think there was something wrong that it didn't make like, why was I not processing things maybe as quickly as other people? But...
Actually, a lot of people do have this. So a lot of people do take time to process. But if you have single definition, which is a bit less common, those people process much faster. they're like, it's not that they're not good at collaborating, but they don't need the collaborative energy to feel like they're thriving and to feel like in flow. But then there is also, there's single, then there's split definition, then there's triple split and quadruple split. those, so like, the more splits you have, I guess the long, the more time you need to process things.
Ash Butterss (38:50.163)
Okay, yeah, that makes sense. There's so many obviously so many nuances to a chart that it's so you have an intuition like an authority that's slow, but you have single definitions, you might process things quickly, but you still need a lot of time to make a big decision. So it's, it's not black and white. That's why it's like your whole chart tells a story. Yeah. And what about like, when it comes to your emotional state, because I would describe myself as not being a particularly
emotional person. love that question. Okay, cool. Because like, and even for a period of my life, I think I was actually completely blocked. Now I know that I'm unblocked, but I'm still not highly emotional. And I get over things really quickly. yeah, I've seen you talking about how like you cried, you cried about a movie or like, was the Olympics. It was the Olympics. this girl was winning a medal. Reagan was dancing?
I might have cried for a different reason then. No, I remember, she was the high jumper, I think. And I was watching her hug her family after she'd won and I'm just tears streaming down my face. And I get so excited when I cry like that because I'm like, my God, yes, I'm actually getting more in tune with my emotions. But I also do think, and I don't know whether this is just because I've lived a big life and I've had a lot of adversity that I've had to overcome, but pretty tragic things can happen around me and I don't really get that rattled.
So feel like I'm just, I don't know. like resilience in that way. Yeah. So how does it relate to emotions? So I'm not specifically sure in terms of the resilience to handling those sorts of big situations, but when it comes to your emotions, you're what's called, it's actually, it's called non -emotional, which is so funny that you said that. Perfect. But it's not that you don't, actually non -emotional people can feel really emotional.
It comes from the solar plexus energy center. So you know how we talked about your sacral is colored in, it's defined. That's where you transmit your radio signals to other people. Whereas the places that you have open, they look white in your chart. And those energy sensors, like your solar plexus, where the emotions come from, this is where you absorb other people's radio signals. So you're designed to be quite cool, and collected.
Ash Butterss (41:05.449)
like to have quite neutral emotions when you're in your own energy. doesn't mean that you obviously you can be affected by circumstances, but the thing that will really affect your emotions is that you are an emotional empath. So you actually feel other people's emotions when you're around them. You feel it in your own body as if it's happening to you. So you could be walking to the house and you're feeling great. And then for some reason your partner's really angry. yeah. And then you go from feeling neutral to like
10 out of 10 angry and he's maybe only like three out of 10 angry. And so what happens is you feel his emotions and you amplify them. So you can feel it even more intensely. So that can happen with like all sorts of emotions, be happiness, sadness, know, any emotion. Do you feel that? I do. It's really interesting. My fiance is the most calm, grounded person. So, and I'm not joking when I say I think we've only had like,
could count on one hand the amount of arguments we've had, probably less than three. But I do remember one time he was in a mood and then that got me in a mood and I just took it like 10 times harder and that created a blow up. But I'm thinking more about my previous relationships and something that even from childhood I would be very sensitive to would be if my dad or my mum were in an argument or.
they were in a bad mood, I could feel it. Like the energy in the room felt thick, like you could cut the tension with a knife. And I think that actually is what led to part of that people pleasing tendency of just wanting to keep everyone happy and calm all the time. But yeah, that's what comes to mind with that. think that, yeah, I probably am more of an empath, but I'm also really conscious. And I don't know whether this is being in 12 step recovery, but of just not
taking people's stuff on. Yeah, that's what it's all about. So it's not that you it's uncontrollable. I mean, you can't control feeling people's emotions that will happen. But when you're aware that, okay, that emotion is not mine. Like nothing else is going on around me that's affecting me. It must have come from this person. That's how you release the emotion. So just the awareness is how you release other people's emotions. You can hold you can hold on to emotion for as long as you want. Like if you
Ash Butterss (43:24.105)
like the feeling if their happiness is making you on like this happy high, then you can be like, okay, I know that it's theirs, but like, I want to keep feeling it or you can say, okay, that actually just being aware of it might make you let go of the emotion. But you can try it, you can choose to hold on to things as well if you want to. But yeah, the awareness is how you release other people's, I guess, heavier or more negative emotions. But on top of what you said about the people pleasing, something that can happen with non -emotionals is
wanting to, because you can feel other people's emotions and maybe you have more, I guess, awareness and resilience to this, but maybe some listeners don't and they're like, emotions hit me left, right and center. Then as a non -emotional, that can also cause people to be non -confrontational because they can be scared of emotions. Like I don't wanna deal with the emotions that come out of this confrontation. am 100 % non -confrontational. Yeah, it's something that I'm actually trying to work on at the moment. Yeah, and you've...
Do you feel, do you resonate with that? That some of it's like the emotions feel too intense, not just from you, but feeling the other person's? Yeah, I think for me, it comes back to not wanting people to dislike me. And I noticed it actually just a week ago, there was a situation where I saw somebody, let's say, do the wrong thing.
And I had two opportunities. One, I could go up to her and explain that what she was doing was the wrong thing, or I could just let it go, which then actually caused resentment in me. Which thank goodness I have a program that I get to work through that stuff on the spot so it doesn't fester. But I was disappointed in myself because I took the easy option, which was say nothing and sit on the resentment as opposed to getting a little bit uncomfortable.
maybe she was going to be a little bit annoyed or taken, but being put off initially, but it was also a really beautiful learning opportunity for her because she probably didn't know that she was doing the wrong thing. Sorry, I've had to be a bit vague there because I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but it was, it really did. It came back to the forefront of my mind when in the process of doing my inventory on it that I was like, that's, that's you people pleasing again and avoiding confrontation.
Ash Butterss (45:36.745)
So yeah, something that I need to, so I don't know whether it was more the emotion that I was, I guess probably carrying the emotion that she then would have felt. Yeah, but I was intellectualizing it way too much as well. And also maybe, yeah, I like, I guess it's a way of also abandoning yourself. So again, connecting to like, in that moment, did you, it's so hard because it's not like you're gonna feel lit up to go up to someone and deal with that, but.
I think remembering. Yeah, no, I did not. Like, no, I don't want to do that. Which is actually another important thing to remember as well that sometimes when like coming back to how I was saying like things can be like a yes or a no or a no for now, but things can also feel like a fear. And a fear can feel really similar to a no because you can a fear like a no feels can feel contracted and like you have a pit in your stomach, but because it feels scary rather than because you know it's not right for you. don't want.
that when there's a fear that can be the sort of energy behind it as well. So that could be another thing like I don't know if in that situation you thought it feels draining to deal with this or if behind it there was like sort of energy to tackle it but you're like no no I'm still too scared like I don't want handle it. Yeah. That can be like another sort of like fine tuning that and feeling into the sort of tiny difference between a no versus something just being scary. Yeah right.
Like is there energy behind it? Yeah, and feeling into that. That's such a good point. I noticed as well with the chart, so you've said that the parts that are colored in are stronger or? They're what you call defined. Defined. Defined energy centers. They're like your consistent ones. Okay, so I've got the sacral chakra, but then I can also see here that my root chakra is defined. It's my little yogi coming out of me. What does that mean? The root center being defined?
So that's the energy center where the pressure to create momentum and get things started comes from. So it means you're someone that on top of having sacral energy of like when I'm lit up, I'm excited and I have energy towards something, you also consistently feel pressure to create momentum in your life and like take action on things and kind of get the ball rolling. And that pressure, it...
Ash Butterss (47:57.811)
It's a good thing that you can feel it consistently, but it's also can come up as feeling in the low expression, can feel like stress and feeling like, my God, this is making so much sense. can be like feeling like you have to be stressed to get things done. But really you don't because you consistently feel the pressure to get things done and you don't need to be stressed to get it done. I mean, something that like, if you had that undefined, so if that was white in your chart or undefined or open at the same, they're synonymous.
could for you, if you were that person, you could feel other people's pressure and stress as more, whereas for you, you probably have more of a buffer to other people's, the pressure around you. Like let's say when you worked at L 'Oreal and you saw people around you maybe feeling stressed or pressured, you wouldn't be as affected by their stress and pressure as someone with an open route. They would be like, I didn't feel stressed, but now I'm feeling everyone else's stress in my own body, just like you can feel people's emotions in your body. They can feel people's stress and pressure.
Yeah, yeah, no, I can be a good pressure to get them going. Yeah, like a little bit like just whiffing them. Yeah. Or it can be like a bad pressure where they goes overboard. Yeah, no, I definitely relate to more just putting the pressure on myself. Yeah. And I'm in constant like. Moment like getting my. Yeah, yeah, yeah, always. Everyone's like, what are you doing this week? And I'm like, there's this and there's this and there's this and it's exciting because I am lit up and to see that the sacral chakra, which is.
you know, that center of creativity is really alive in me. That all makes a lot of sense. But really interesting to hear that the root chakra is all about momentum and moving, because I think that that's, yeah, I do identify as being quite strong in that area. And somebody who is motivated, you know, like I really feel for people who struggle with motivation, because I do feel that's something that comes naturally to me, which allows me to continue to create.
That's another energy center. like the pressure, it's very, you can see it's like very nuanced. Like you could get kind of confused with, okay, so energy to do, then pressure to create momentum and then they can feel similar, but they're different. And then motivation is another energy center that comes from the ego heart center, which you also have defined, which means that you do have consistent motivation as well. Which is like, that's actually less common.
Ash Butterss (50:17.195)
I'd say, I think it's about 60 % of people have it undefined, so why? Whereas about 40 % have it defined like you. I love that. So most people aren't meant to be like me. Most people aren't meant to be consistently motivated. Yeah. I mean, it is exhausting. It's not, I'm joking. You'll actually give you more energy consistently. Whereas for someone like me, like I might just have a day where I'm like, I'm just not motivated. And if I push myself, then I just slow down.
the process of getting back to the motivation. So whereas for you, you, I'm sure everyone still has days where they're less motivated, but you'll find that you're more consistently motivated than the majority of people. For sure. I think the only thing that really slows me down is if I'm sick and touch wood, like I can't, I couldn't tell you the last time I got sick. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what happens when you listen to your energy, like, like generators who, if they're feeling
worn out by a situation or they're feeling like pressure to, you know, do something for someone that they don't want to, that's when there's more risk of getting sick when you're not honoring your energy. So. my God, this is fascinating. I'm conscious of the time and I feel like we could talk about this forever. What is maybe like one more thing that you can share with me that we haven't covered that you feel like is really important to talk about before we wrap up? Yeah. Okay. Well,
There so many things, but I feel like you mentioned something before that makes me feel like this is what the things to choose between what I should talk about. So you mentioned before, like worthiness being a challenge that you've experienced. you're everyone in their chart has what's called your sun gate. And it's like your gift that comes under the sun planet. So like in astrology, we don't have the sun, but in human design, have, sorry, we do. Sorry. In human sign, we have the earth as well, but in astrology, we don't.
But it's different to your sun sign in astrology. It's your sun gate. So it's a specific gift and yours is called, it's gate 10 and it's a gift all about self love. And so it's about self love and a love for life. And so your sun gift is the number one gift that you're here to share with people. It's like how you shine your light and it's how my God, I have just gone like full body chills. my God, keep going. It makes up 70 % of your personality. So
Ash Butterss (52:40.437)
We have so many different gifts, which are all those numbers on the side of your chart, but this one, as I said, is the most prominent. so it's about, yeah, self -love and a love for life. And for you, it's about going on this really deep journey of really loving yourself, cultivating self -love. And then when you, by going on that journey, you can cultivate it for yourself, but then you're here to teach that to other people. And then you're also here to really fall in love with life and be someone who naturally
does feel in love with life. And you're here to help other people also fall more in love with life. my God, my mission, I'm doing my mission. This is like so validating. Yeah, I felt like that was important because self love, obviously in everything in human design, we have what we call the high expression and the low expression. So I guess you can simplify it. So like the positive and the negative, the positive way of using it is what we just talked about. Whereas the low expression, the more negative is that
you can be hard on yourself for having challenges around self -love, but you are actually here to grow through that to then cultivate the love for yourself, to then teach that to other people. And then, yeah, so there can be those sort of challenges with worthiness, being, I guess, not necessarily hard on yourself, but just having self -love issues come up. Like it could be,
Not loving how you look or. Yeah, the inner critic, my goodness. And you're here to overcome that, but not just get rid of, not overcome it in a way like I'm shutting it down, but like really feel it and how to move through that. And learn how to live with it. Yeah, and also love really gets to the point of loving yourself, even loving the parts of yourself that you don't love yet. Like a mantra can be, like let's say you don't love, like for example, trying to think, like you don't love your
hips, just making up an example. Like saying to yourself, I love myself and my curvy hips. Even if you don't feel that yet, like having like a mantra for yourself of what's the thing that I don't love yet about myself and practicing using that affirmation. So it's like, okay, I do love that. Like I love myself. And also loving life. It's also about a love and zest for life. Yeah, I mean.
Ash Butterss (54:56.159)
God, this is just so beautiful because it's exactly like the mission that I'm on, which is amazing. And something that is so, so beautiful that I experience regularly throughout the week is this feeling of, I am so blessed and I'm so grateful. I'm exactly where I need to be. And that is not something that used to.
go through my thought process or anything, but I'll honestly like be crossing the road or just like sitting at home, like the sun will hit my skin. just had this huge wave of just being so in love with my life. And to hear that that is the journey that I'm here on this earth to be exploring and receiving and sharing with others is so, so beautiful to hear. That is beautiful. And it's like really being someone who can fall in love with
small things like, mean, the sun, the existence of the sun isn't a small thing, but we can take it for granted. It's just there and you might not even notice it, but because like another thing in the low expression can be feeling like I will, I'll be happy when X, I'll be happy when this thing happens in my life or when I get to this point, but you can then eternally feel that way. So it's really about just loving life as it is.
And not saying that you don't wanna up level, you still wanna up level in your life and be your best and live your design to the fullest, but also just loving how your life is and seeing the beauty in the small things is so powerful. And an amazing thing to teach other people. That is a big part of your life purpose. So, my God. It's all making so much sense. Isn't this wild? my gosh. Okay. We're gonna have to wrap it up because we're running out of time, but for anybody that's listening or watching along today who
wants to have their human design chart read by you, what's the process of them doing that? Because I cannot recommend it highly enough. I have gotten so much value out of this session, but like, where do they find you? What's the process? Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram. My handle is lovemydesign with an underscore at the end. I'm at online, my website is lovemydesign .com.
Ash Butterss (57:11.797)
So I offer one -on -one readings. I also do parent -child readings, which is also really amazing. Other sort of thing. I'm also gonna start doing couples reading soon as well, which is exciting. But I feel like I was gonna say something and I've gone blank. Well, I'll make sure that I pop the Instagram and the website details in the show notes so that people can follow that there. They can follow you on Instagram. Is it cool if they DM you, chat Yeah, definitely. And I was gonna say, actually, that's what I was gonna say.
Also get your free human design chart on my website. So there's a either you can do it through Instagram through the link in my bio and just click get your chart get my chart and then you just input your information so you need your date of birth time of birth as exact as possible and place of birth and then you can see your chart for free as well.
Amazing. And then they can reach out to you so you can read it to them because I'm looking at my chart and I wouldn't have gotten any of the value that you've given me today reading that on my own. But I also have heaps of reels and posts on my Instagram that you could be like, I'm a generator. So I'm going to look for the generator content or I have sacral authority or whatever it is.
look for that content and learn as well that way. Amazing. my God, Aviva, thank you so much for today. This has just been so much fun. I have loved every second and I hope that everyone listening has gotten value out of this episode as well. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It was so much fun. Such a pleasure.