I created Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss because I’m on a mission to remove the stigma around mental health, trauma and addiction. 

From 2018 – 2020, I was drinking every day, stuck in a cycle of addiction yet from the outside looking in my life looked “normal.” I now know, I fell into the category of being a “high-functioning alcoholic” however, at the time, I thought I just needed to learn how to control my drinking. 

I was also experiencing poor mental health and debilitating panic attacks, which I was later medicated for, but I didn’t stop drinking and so the anxiety raged on. 

During this time, I didn’t know where to turn to. I knew there were programs such as AA, but I didn’t think I qualified because I didn’t think I was an alcoholic. I didn’t look like the “typical” alcoholic, and I hadn’t lost my job or my marriage, so I was at a loss. Nowhere could I find another person who looked and sounded like me, who was going through a similar experience and talking about it.