Saying Goodbye to Perfectionism, People Pleasing and Procrastination in 2023!
As I enter into my fifth year of sobriety, I’m continually amazed by the deeper layers of myself that are being revealed.
In early recovery, it was all about the tools and knowledge I was gaining, however this last 12 months has been a lot more about what I’m willing to let go of. At the start of 2023, I reflected on the habits and behaviours that were no longer serving me, and made a commitment to show up differently, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.
✨ The first thing I needed to let go of was perfectionism. This wasn’t going to be easy because my perfectionistic tendencies were deeply engrained. I had been a perfectionist long before I’d ever picked up a drink or a drug. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, perfectionism was my solution to receiving the nurturing I lacked at home. Yet this constant need for external validation meant that I suffered from chronic low self-esteem.
The process of recovering from perfectionism has involved the slow process of re-building my self-esteem, by showing up for myself every day and by being of service to others. For anyone else wanting to heal from perfectionism, know that this is journey made up of consistent small actions made over a period of time. Allow this healing to be about the journey not the destination.
✨ The second thing I needed to let go of was people pleasing. I used to think that I was such a generous person because I’d always so yes when asked to do something, even if deep down I didn’t want to do it, and would end up resenting the person or situation. Can anyone relate? But then it was put to me that people pleasing was in fact approval sucking and dishonest. When I heard it put like this, I suddenly realised this wasn’t a character trait I wanted to embody.
Learning to say no to things I no longer want to do (within reason), and establishing healthy boundaries, has enabled me to strengthen my relationships. People know where I stand and it has allowed me to stand in my integrity.
✨ The final P I said goodbye to in 2023 was procrastination. Because I’m a recovering perfectionist, I can relate to the term “analysis paralysis,” which is a state of inaction caused by the fear of not being able to do something perfectly. My first leap of faith was starting my podcast Behind The Smile towards the end of 2022, but in 2023 I decided to go all in, hiring a mentor and launching my business.
If I’d allowed the fear or failure, or what others might think hold me back, I’d be in the same position I was at the start of the year, wondering “what if?” Instead, this year I’ve landed a TedX Talk, run multiple sell out masterclasses, coached and guided my clients to achieve their goals both 1:1 and in my group program, run a yoga and mindset workshop AND launched my retreat for 2024!
So if you’re starting to set intentions for 2024, why not think of what you can let go of, in order to make space for what could grow 🌱
(Photo: anyaberkut)